Can also be heard on ESP Podcast–
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1807373/episodes/9119711
I had been a pastor for about 3 years. I had been in the Air Force for 7 years prior to being a pastor, 4 on active duty and 3 of those overseas. I had graduated top of my class and was finding success in ministry. I certainly was more than a little acquainted with the Bible and our denominational doctrine. I was a pretty smart guy: granted, I did not know it all, but at 31 I figured I knew a lot.
My life was a life of black and white, no place for gray: Up/Down, In/Out, Right/Wrong, True/False, and there was little to convince me otherwise. I had already sat with those dying, got pulled into more parishioner domestic squabbles then I had parishioners, seen a fight at a funeral, had two attempts on my life, and been threatened more than once. These things only drew the lines sharper and black was blacker and white was whiter. Gray was for cowards with no conviction. I for one knew where I stood.
I was not truly legalistic, but I had become rigid to the point fun was hard. Relaxation was wasting time. Guilt pressed on my mind as though it was trying to push my eyeballs out of socket from within. Those who are perfectionists understand this completely. I say all this to help you understand why the duck became a symbol of my pride and rigid attitude.
We lived next to a nice couple with a couple of kids and we had two kids. Genuinely nice people. Unexpectedly one day, my wife came and said the neighbors had a request. Okay, what is it? The little girl’s duck had died, and she knew I was a minister. She had requested that I give the duck a funeral. I did not even think about it, no, ducks don’t have souls.
It goes down as one of the biggest regrets of my ministry. A little girl grieving over her duck and I refused a funeral. The duck deserved it. Even months after that experience, I would have answered yes. It was an opportunity to show compassion to a little girl and to speak of the wonders of God’s creation. After all, she was not asking for last rites for the duck, just some somber words to comfort her. As I write this, I still feel the pain and the shame of saying no to the funeral the duck deserved. I wish I could go back, but I cannot.
The problem is I see adults behaving like this today over politics and a host of issues. So black and white, so noble, so rigid, so right. I pray our children are not soaking this up. When the disciples tried to keep children from running up to Jesus, 14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these,” (Matthew 19:14, NIV).
Today, if that little girl had asked, I would hear Jesus say: let the child come to me. I was not listening; I already knew how things should be. And a Duck did not get the funeral it deserved, and I hindered a little girl from getting closer to Jesus. Lord help us as adults not hinder our children from being kind and compassionate. Give us grace and forgive us our shortcomings.
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Dr. James D Allen
Dr. Allen served as a seminary VP, pastor, and as a trustee on a Christian mental health Board. He has earned a BA, MA, MA Biblical Counseling, Doctor of Ministry. Dr Allen has also preached on 5 continents, lived in 3 nations, and so has a diverse Christian experience. He has a distinguished career of being a pastor, consultant, author, and educator. MY FIRST LOVE--Being a Pastor and encouraging others!