Original post on July 8, 2022 This edited post on July 9, 2022
At the initial writing of this blog, the NEA was floating a potential resolution on the language change (mother to birthing parent and other inclusive language) as potential new business-NBI 63; however, it was not brought to a vote. The fact that it was considered and prepared as New Business is disturbing enough.
While working on my second master’s degree, which was in counseling, I had to spend some time in various environments, from a ward for the criminally insane to domestic violence group therapy sessions. Of all the settings I was exposed to, the male domestic violence group affected me the most. Having an adult daughter at the time made me even more sensitive. (I was happy she had a respectful husband.) I spent most of my time in group therapy with the male offenders of wives and girlfriends. At the first meeting, I felt the anger, hatred, and absolute disrespect for women. The offenders rarely spoke the name woman, wife, or mother in referring to their spouse or girlfriend. Common names of respect seemed to be anathema. They referred to the women with derogatory terms highlighting the menstrual cycle, birthing process, vagina, or sexual performance. It made you want to shout at the guys or even swing at them. The absolute disgust they had for women was beyond me. Didn’t these guys have moms?
They avoided proper names or even the term woman so they might dehumanize the women in their lives. It is easier to abuse someone if they are less than, disgusting, or even only partially human. Slavery, the caste system, elitism, and racism, are all built on the idea of superiority over a people or an ideology. These males knew they were superior and intended to prove it with word and deed. I can’t share in this PG-13 video/blog some of the horrific and degrading terms used, but a mental shower was needed after each session.
When I visited the abused women, I was shocked by their depressed countenance. As I sat there, the only male in the room, I was stunned by what I heard. I have no place to go. He is all I could ever get. I set him off, and it is sometimes my fault. I am so ugly; who would have me. Let me stop right here. The young lady that said, I am so ugly, startled me. This young lady was beautiful. Do you hear me? By all standards, she was a beautiful woman, yet her husband had convinced her she was less than and worthless? He didn’t just do that with physical abuse but emotional and verbal abuse, as I observed in the abusers’ group therapy sessions. The domestic violence group was in agreement these baby poppers and birthing people are less than.
When I read that some in the National Education Association teachers’ union were suggesting the name birthing parents to replace mothers, I heard the voice of the male abusers. I am sure the men I sat with in those sessions would applaud you for removing the sanctity and dignified name of mother from the vocabulary. Birthing persons is precisely what they are. Well, they used baby poppers, but you are close enough. (I am grateful this proposal never came to the floor for a vote; however, even the suggestion is haunting.)
In your haste to be woke and hip and cool, some of you have gone full circle from supporting women to putting them back in their place. Language matters. Mother is a name on every child’s lips. No toddler runs to mom, and her first words are birthing person. I am sure by now you know this was a significant overreach and mistake, but take it from me, there is a group that disrespects women who believe you are on the right track. Go ahead, call women those who menstruate or birthing persons, but I, for one, will call the women in my life with terms of dignity, respect, honor, and love. My mom is still living and gave birth to me, and though she may remind me of that, my thought is never about her birthing me but rather her lovingly raising me to be the person I am.
Dr. James D. Allen, D.Min.
July 8, 2022
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Dr. James D Allen
Dr. Allen served as a seminary VP, pastor, and as a trustee on a Christian mental health Board. He has earned a BA, MA, MA Biblical Counseling, Doctor of Ministry. Dr Allen has also preached on 5 continents, lived in 3 nations, and so has a diverse Christian experience. He has a distinguished career of being a pastor, consultant, author, and educator. MY FIRST LOVE--Being a Pastor and encouraging others!