Regrets, Guilt, and Condemnation

Regrets–What if?

Everyone, did you hear me? Everyone has regrets. When we focus on regrets, we usually ask the question, what if? What if I had stayed in the military? What if I had taken that other job? What if I had kept my mouth shut? What if I hadn’t done this or that? Often, when we get into the regrets or what if stage, we forget that we are looking at the past from the future we couldn’t see then! Of course, you would have made better decisions if you could see the future! Do you want to hold yourself to that standard? Did you notice that this paragraph has seven sentences out of twelve that are questions? That is because concentrating on regrets will bring up far more questions than solutions.

When a friend or loved one dies, it is nearly universal that we begin to ask what-if questions. What if I had visited one more time, called one more time, and said, I love you one more time? Regrets are a part of life and occur daily, some with little consequence. I regret eating that last piece of pie. When someone tells me they don’t regret anything in their life, it tells me they are not very honest, delusional, and care very little about others. I usually ask the person: Did you know God regretted creating humanity? Check it out in Genesis 6:6: The Lord regretted that he had made human beings on the earth, and his heart was deeply troubled, NIV. Why? Because of His love for humanity, they rejected His care and His love.

Regret is a part of life. I regret not buying one share of Apple when it first became public. What do we do with regrets?

1. Accept the fact that you are not perfect.
2. Accept the fact that you could not see into the future.
3. Accept the fact that you can’t change the past.
4. Accept the good news that your regrets can lead to repentance and forgiveness from the Lord.

What if? It is a question that takes you backward into 2023 and beyond. We are moving forward. Dump the regrets at the feet of Jesus and move on. Get that backpack off you and leave it in 2023; you have enough to deal with in 2024.

Guilt–Why did I?

Guilt and shame occur when we do something wrong, and God convicts us, or we have a godly conscience that convicts us. Guilt and shame were evident in the garden as Adam and Eve sinned, and they covered themselves and hid from God. Eve blamed the serpent, and Adam blamed Eve, really God, since He gave him Eve. This was a valid conviction and led to repentance and forgiveness. Guilt that leads to conviction and repentance is a good thing. Guilting over things forgiven understates the great forgiveness of our Lord.

Here is a fact, though. Even if you accept the Lord’s forgiveness, some will judge you on your worst day. They will mark you with one notable sin and make it stick. When Lazarus died, and Jesus informed the disciples he was going to the home of Lazarus, there was concern that the religious leaders would kill Jesus.

“But Rabbi,” they said, “a short while ago, the Jews there tried to stone you, and yet you are going back?” John 11:8. It was Thomas who responded: Then Thomas (also known as Didymus ) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him.” John 11:16, NIV.

Perhaps the high point of Thomas’s life was when he was ready to die for his Lord; yet, we remember the “doubting Thomas.” The one who wanted proof that Jesus was alive and wanted to touch Him. Not the Thomas who was ready to step forward and die for Jesus: Thomas, the man of courage and faith.

Perhaps we should acknowledge that we will get things wrong if we judge people at the lowest point of their lives or judge people based on our historical context. We would have to rid the world of statues of the Apostles, such as Paul, Peter, and Thomas, because they were imperfect. We may have to reconsider our stance on some Church Fathers who had a notable Anti-Semitic tone.

1. If your guilt and conviction are present, ask the Lord for forgiveness.
2. If your guilt and conviction have to do with another, go to them and ask for forgiveness. They may accept or reject you but leave the guilt behind either way.
3. If you are laboring with guilt over forgiven sin, continue to thank the Lord for His forgiveness each day. Let it sink into your soul.
4. Leave the guilt in 2023; we have enough issues in 2024.

Condemnation–Can I Be Forgiven or Used?

God didn’t need to send the Son into the world to condemn people. There are plenty of people working in that corner already. Almost all of those positions are taken. Admittedly, I have also taken one of those positions in my life; however, some people can’t find anything good to say about anyone. I wondered if I should point to my ear and ask the person:  What is this? The expected response would be an ear. I wish I could then say, correct; it is not a garbage can. I know it’s not a kind thing to do, so I often find an excuse and walk away from such people. Of course, some are a bit naïve and think all is well. Can you say anything good about Satan? Well, the man said, he is always on the job. It’s a bit too positive.

Condemnation, judgment without hope, is not of God. God convicts but offers a remedy. When Jesus taught the disciples to pray, he taught them to forgive and ask for forgiveness. God has promised to forgive and to offer hope. When I was ministering in the Philippines, I was ministering in dangerous areas and areas of extreme public sinfulness. My purpose was not to condemn but to offer hope and a way out through Christ. We placed an environment of hope there on the streets, a coffee house, between two bars of prostitution. Hope is needed by all of us, especially those blinded by their environment. 

There is another kind of condemnation, and that is self-condemnation. It is a horrible instrument of torture. It is the why did I, if only, I should have, I messed up, I am at fault, I am a despicable person, and God can never use me self-talk. I am on the shelf. I am finished. Sin indeed has consequences; it is also true that God can turn things around for us. I bought a wooden sign as a new Christian that said:  If you wish you had never been born, try being born again. Self-condemnation or being influenced by people who condemn is not of God. It is not correct. It only serves to degrade and dissipate any hope. God offers hope. Redemption. Forgiveness assumes one has sinned or wronged another. Without mercy, all of us would be doomed to have our lives defined by our worst decisions, like Thomas, whom we talked about

I am grateful I serve a God of a million second chances and more. I knew a missionary who hated the idea of going to the nation to which God called him. He hated the culture and, by association, the people. Like Jonah and Nineveh, he was torn between the call and prejudice. He went, and in a few years, he loved the culture, the people, the nation, and the Jesus who called him and was willing to die for the people. I remember him for the change in his heart and not for the shame of his heart at his call. I pray I am remembered for the good things I did in life and not for my lowest points in life. May we remember the brave Thomas willing to die for Christ, not the moment of doubt he displayed, and be like a child in forgiveness.

The woman by the well in John 4 is a fantastic story of our Lord’s moving past gender, ethnic, national, and sin barriers to reach a woman with His Word. She had five previous husbands and was living with a guy. Jesus used her to speak for him in the village, and she returned, bringing people to him. Listen to me. DO NOT discount your use in God’s Kingdom because of your past. JESUS will forgive your past, and He will redeem your future. People tend to tie you to the worst days or years of life; God forgives those days and years and creates a new future.

You are the accumulation of your life’s good, bad, and ugly, and God can use it all. Even those experiences that Satan meant for evil, God will turn around and use for good. Think about Paul persecuting Christians and even seeing them killed for their faith, yet he became a great Apostle to the Gentiles. Whatever experiences you have had, God will not waste them but mold them into a weapon against the enemy.

It is 2024; let us enter by laying down the backpacks of Regrets, Guilt, and Condemnation. Let us enter with new hope. As a matter of fact, let’s enter with OVERFLOWING HOPE!

Dr. James D. Allen

Overflowinghope180.com