Dr. James D. Allen
I had just landed at an airbase in England, fresh off the U.S. Air Force chartered plane. On the tarmac, I was met by the driver who would be my only company on the ride to my new assignment. We arrived in the evening, but “base” felt like the wrong word. It was isolated, remote, and eerily empty.
No one was there to greet me. With my duffel bag slung over my shoulder, I headed to the one place I knew I’d find people: the NCO Club.
A Welcome I’d Never Forget
Walking into the club, I must have looked like a stray—my uniform crumpled from hours of travel, a diminutive figure dwarfed by a substantial duffel bag, and a look of complete confusion on my face. I finally found my new sergeant. His first words weren’t a welcome, but a shock.
“You shouldn’t be here,” he said bluntly. “I canceled your assignment.” He paused, sizing me up. “Well, we’ll deal with that later. Have a drink, and then we’ll get you to the barracks.”
To top off this stellar welcome, he sent me to the bar to get him a beer and told me to ring the bell on the counter to let everyone know a newcomer had arrived. Being young and clueless, I did exactly as he said. I rang the bell.
Of course, this meant I was buying the next round for the entire bar. The cost was promptly put on an account opened in my name.
An Empty Base, An Empty Heart
Later, the sergeant dropped me off at a mostly empty barracks, on a mostly empty base, and left me with a mostly empty heart. He mentioned offhandedly that my canceled orders were because I was supposed to go to Vietnam instead. “Any more good news for me?” I mumbled to myself after he left.
My wife, Debbie, and I had been so excited for this assignment—three years in England. How was I supposed to tell her it was all off?
As I unpacked my duffel bag, my fingers brushed against the New Testament the Gideons had given me. I laid it on the bed and stepped outside, needing to clear my head. A damp, cold fog had enveloped the base, a quiet, eerie atmosphere that perfectly matched the turmoil in my soul. I walked and I thought, my mind racing with anxiety. I was confused, discouraged, and utterly lost.
Returning to my room, I picked up the small book. I had always believed in God and went to church often as a child. At five years old, I’d even boldly declared to a room full of adults, “I am going to be a big fat Baptist preacher when I grow up!” But somewhere along the line, I became convinced I wasn’t good enough. My early instruction had been faulty; I thought that to come to Christ, I first had to work hard and fix myself.
The Prayer That Changed Everything
As I knelt beside the bed, the essence of my prayer was this:
God, I am so confused. I know I’m not good enough to serve you. I’ve tried my whole life to be better, and I’ve always failed. But today, on 5 December 1970, I promise to serve you from this day forward. If I’m still not good enough and you send me to hell, that’s your business—but I will give you my all.
Then, I turned to the decision page in the front of that Gideon Bible. With a surge of conviction, I wrote my name and that date, sealing my confession. (Yes, I still have that New Testament, and a picture of it is below).
In that instant, the weight, the heaviness, and the fog of anxiety lifted. A profound peace washed over me, and I felt a deep confidence that everything would be fine. I slept like a baby that night.
My life was forever changed, and I have never regretted one day of serving the Lord.
I am still not “good enough.” But God’s grace and mercy have made me more than presentable to the Father. If you have been led to believe, through legalistic preaching or your own self-doubt, that you have to clean up your act before you can come to God, let me stop you right there.
You will never be good enough; That is why Jesus came.
The woman at the well, who had been married five times and was living with a man who wasn’t her husband, wasn’t good enough—but Jesus received her. The Apostle Peter, who publicly denied even knowing Jesus, wasn’t good enough—but Jesus restored him.
No one is. The old hymn is true: you come Just As I Am. Come to Jesus as you are, and He will do the rest. There isn’t a list of things to give up or a checklist of tasks to complete first. Your growth in Christ begins the moment you accept Him.
If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” Romans 10:9-11 (NIV)
Your Decision
Fifty-five years ago, on a cold night in England, I made a decision that holds to this day. If you don’t know the Lord, or if you feel you need to recommit your life to Him, I invite you to join me. Make today your day to say “yes” to Jesus for the first time, or “yes” again. You will not regret it.
P.S. The story doesn’t end there! The next morning, I met my sergeant with a newfound confidence—perhaps a little too much confidence. Tomorrow, I’ll share the hilarious antics of a brand-new, over-zealous believer. You won’t want to miss it!
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Dr. James D. Allen
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Dr. James D Allen
Dr. Allen served as a seminary VP, pastor, and as a trustee on a Christian mental health Board. He has earned a BA, MA, MA Biblical Counseling, Doctor of Ministry. Dr Allen has also preached on 5 continents, lived in 3 nations, and so has a diverse Christian experience. He has a distinguished career of being a pastor, consultant, author, and educator. MY FIRST LOVE--Being a Pastor and encouraging others!